Insidious Dreams
by Panthers Tear
Summary: On a whim Duo goes to visit his good friend Quatre, only to discover that he's ill. What's happening? And what's up with these unexplained nightmares? Co-Written with Shinigami's Forlorn Angel and rated for language and slightly graphic content
1. Prologue

Panther's Tear: Okay guys this is the first fic I've written that I actually like so please go easy on me huh? Oh, and I SO own the G-Boys. Shinigami's Forlorn Angel: You. Wish. PT: Yes, I do.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ Prologue:  
Duo walked into Quatre's mansion in downtown Beverly Hills. He gave the usual flippant remark when one of Quatre's many servants offered to take his coat. Duo noted the cherubs at either end of the banister of the grand staircase to which the servant directed him when asked where Quatre was. "And they say men 'never' ask for directions!" He huffed. He made a mental note to tease Quatre about those later.  
  
When he reached Quatre's room the door was slightly ajar. Tired as he was from his long flight over from L2, that sent alarm bells ringing and jolted him awake. "Now that's not right." He whispered. Quatre was, after all a former gundam pilot. Old instincts would nag him into shutting the door to any room he was in Duo was sure. Old instincts die hard.  
  
He walked slowly, cautiously, into the bed chamber. His old instincts ensured that he go in with the utmost of care, as he fully expected an attack. Like I said, old instincts die hard.  
  
What he found sent him reeling backwards in shock. Quatre lay in his bed, barely conscious. His skin was paler than usual. He looked deathly thin. His breaths came in ragged gasps. It didn't look good. Behind his tired eyes his own death unfolded. The young empath was sprawled in the world between wakefulness and slumber. The place nightmares dwell. A place where anything can happen... and usually does.  
  
A face less person grasped his neck with hands of iron and a steel grip and squeezed. Tighter, ever tighter until Quatre could not breath. Lights flashed before his eyes and still the figure stood emotionless before him and jammed his thumb into the young Arab's throat. It felt like a sledge hammer was hitting his windpipe repeatedly and still the man stood unmoved and choking the teenager's life away...  
  
Quatre's eyes fluttered open as Duo ran a slightly trembling hand across the blonde's forehead. Duo searched his eyes for any sign of what was going through his head right then. The Arabian's gaze seemed haunted, his baby blue eyes clouded over with pain. He flinched ever so slightly under his companions touch. This as much as anything told Duo Quatre was sick.  
"Hey Quat... your running a bit of a fever little brother." Duo commented. Quatre winced at his words and sat up. "I'm fine Duo... I've just been feeling a little under the weather." He assured the American. Duo walked to the sink in the adjoining bathroom and wet a cloth. Then, after wringing it out so it was merely damp he laid it across Quatre's forehead, and whispered. "That's bullshit Quat, and you know it."  
  
Quatre looked shocked. He had used that mask countless times throughout the war and no one had suspected a thing. But now the fighting was over wasn't it? Duo had seen through his mask as if it had been made of glass or something more brittle even.  
  
"Duo..." He started only to be cut off promptly by his teenage American ex- pilot friend. "Now I am going to go call Trowa." Duo stated as he left the room and went to the kitchen. He picked up the receiver and dialed Trowa's number. "Hey Tro? It's Duo. Quatre's sick." 


	2. Chapter 1

Panther's Tear: Many thanks to those who reviewed, (you know who you are); it is your confidence that inspired me to write this chapter. Shinigami's Forlorn Angel: You are full of it. Ugh. You are just sucking up to the nice readers so they'll review some more. Which brings me to another topic. Why am I even part of the team? I mean, come on. It's almost glaringly obvious that I'm only here so you can use my good name to sell your fic. PT: No, it's not like that at all. You're here so I can use your good name and * skills * to sell my fic. SFA: Thanks...*rolls her eyes* Glad to know I'm here because I'm valued for my opinions, willingness to help, and extensive knowledge on the Subject of relationships, New Mobile Report Gundam W, and how the minds of most of the Gundam Pilots work. As well as somewhat extensive though limited knowledge of certain medical conditions due to my mother's work environment and med books. PT: You're welcome!  
  
Warnings: This chap switches between Duo's and Trowa's POV a little bit. Starting with Tro.  
  
~*~*~*~ = POV change  
  
Chapter One  
  
When I first found out Quatre was ill I assumed it was just a common cold or some such thing. I was a little annoyed Duo had bothered me with it. I was never expecting what I found, the scene of so many of my nightmares. I was about to find the truth behind Yuy's line of 'assumptions lead to mistakes.' My nightmares had taken form in Quatre's body. And it wasn't pretty.  
  
But it wasn't my fault really; Duo's tone had led me to believe my little one was completely fine, just a little ill. I should have known better. Duo knows that since the war ended we have all been keeping really busy with our new jobs, and trying to cope with our useless gundam pilot instincts.  
  
Me, I work at the zoo. It isn't glamorous but neither am I, and it pays well. Also I enjoy working with the large animals... especially the lions, it reminds me of when I worked with the circus.  
  
I drove to the airport to catch a plane, as it was obvious that I was expected to. Boarding the flight to America I let my thoughts drift back to Quatre. I will never forget how my heart pounded the first time I laid eyes on him. I had thought at the time that my chest was on fire. The first thing I had noticed about him had been his beautiful eyes.  
  
They reminded me of a big deep river on a summer's day with the sun glinting off the water. Partly because they swam with his thoughts and dreams... there were just so many of them there... I had no place disturbing them. They were so deep and reflective; sometimes I could swear I could see my reflection in them. He always seemed to be thinking... he was very smart but it was more than that. He was kind and compassionate and half the time knew what I was thinking before I could figure it out. His eyes were like blue topaz jewels. Baby blue orbs.  
  
I'm not sure what it is that is bothering him. Perhaps it is the simple fact that he never really lived in a peaceful world either and is having trouble adjusting. I would help but the last thing my sweet Quatre needs is my presence. I think I make him nervous. Probably my love for him shows and he simply doesn't return the feeling. He is so innocent... my little angel; I hardly deserve his kindness, let alone his affection. That is why I left him.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
I was in Quatre's room when Trowa arrived. I don't think he expected me to be so serious when I told him that Quatre was sick. I mean, c'mon, I've always been something of the joker of the group, but even I know you don't joke around about things like that. Poor Trowa. I think he nearly had a heart attack when he saw Q. Okay, to give you a more apt description, Trowa's face went completely white and he dropped his bag before he rushed to his love's bedside. Yeah, it's obvious he loves Quatre... Though he'd probably never admit it. I pity them. To be honest they love each other but they're both kind of afraid to admit it. Me on the other hand, I love Heero. And I'll openly admit it to anyone but him. Am I sounding a bit hypocritical? Most likely. The reason I won't tell Heero is I know he doesn't feel the same way and he'd probably deck me for even thinking about loving him. Oh well... I can at least help these two.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Duo was in Quatre's room when I arrived. He looked a little concerned but more so introspective. I wondered what he was thinking about only momentarily as my eyes fell on Quatre, who was laying on the bed in front of my violet-eyed companion. I froze right where I stood as I took in the sight before me. During the war Duo may have been the uplifting spirit of the group, but Quatre was the optimistic heart. But now, he lay on the large oak bed, his face pale and covered in sweat. He also looked emaciated, which led me to suspect that he hadn't been eating properly.  
  
"Quatre... what... what have you been doing to your self?" I asked in a tone even I had to admit was contrite. I attempted to tone it down a notch. "Quatre..." I began again to be interrupted by Duo. "Hey Tro? Um I hate to interject here but a doctor is on his way... Quatre is gettin' worse." I looked over at him. Calling a doctor had of course been the analytical move. I wondered, vaguely if he had called the doctor before calling me. I know it was stupid. I also know it was foolish, inane, senseless, naïve, irresponsible, and laughable but I hoped he had called me first. If Quatre was in trouble I wanted to be the first to know.  
  
Duo seemed to read my thoughts because he responded. "Hey don't worry Trowa my man, I called the doctor just after I called you so he should be here shortly." I let out a sigh of relief. Then I looked back at my angel and wanted to suck that relief back in and shove it in the hole it escaped from.  
  
His eyes were closed, though he was very obviously conscious. His breathing was raspy and vociferous. His pale face seemed even paler under the glare of his bedroom lights and that made me wonder what they would look like under the hospital lights. I have learned that everyone's face will look paler against the white hospital sheets and under the glare of, luminous fluorescent lighting. "Quatre?" I asked prodding him to answer me. "Quatre? Please speak to me." I implored him. I wished, prayed, for a response. Any response. "H-... hi Trowa... Trowa I'm so.... so sorry." 


	3. Chapter 2

Welcome back my readers! This chapter will be mainly Quatre's POV if you read my last chapter you know Quatre is VERY sick. So that explains why Trowa and Duo are there. I may rotate to Duo's POV a little but it will be Quatre's for the most part. *~*~*~*~* = POV change *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^= time change  
  
Chapter Two:  
I wasn't expecting Duo to appear at my door. I was a little shocked he had up and decided to see me. It was different but not exactly uncommon. He sees me a lot more than he sees some other people. Take Heero for example. I don't think he's seen Heero since the occurrence with Mariemaia. Personally I was a little disappointed when Heero took off, I had always kinda thought they were meant for each other... not like Trowa and me. Trowa doesn't like me, that's a little obvious.  
  
Which brings me to my next point. I was not expecting Duo... I nearly caught a fly when Trowa came in. Trowa... my sweet Trowa... my handsome Trowa... he has no idea how handsome he is, or if he does he doesn't show it. I have known I loved him for a very long time but I could NEVER tell him because with that knowledge came the realization he most assuredly does NOT love me.  
  
I wasn't trying to hide my illness I really didn't think it was that serious. I mean before Duo showed up it was barely a fever I swear it! My servants insisted I wasn't to move around though... they always worry when I get sick. Now here I am, with a temperature of oh my god above zero and coughing up a storm. Now to make it worse I have my love here in my weakness.  
  
Now these dreams I've been having... they are not exactly helping matters. A faceless person stands above me and grips my throat and I know your not supposed to be able to feel pain in dreams but it hurts. It really, really hurts. It kind of feels like two pieces of iron are contracting on my throat squeezing the life from me a little at a time and I can't draw a breath, all I can do is hang helplessly as the faceless person squeezes tighter and tighter until I can feel myself dying inside... then I wake up. Strange, I know.  
  
Now as I gaze into Trowa's seemingly worried eyes I can't stifle the hope that even if he doesn't love me at least he cares about me. Maybe duo did the right thing in calling him here to my deathbed. It is nice to have him close now... even if it is for the last time.  
  
I've come to he realization that I am never going to live through this. I have been dying a little inside since the war... it's just that now my suffering is bared for everyone to see and I'm ashamed. I have been secretly anorexic since I met Trowa, desperately trying to be good enough for him. I know it was a poor choice and I knew it then too. I just wanted him to like me so badly... I thought if I was thin that maybe he would.  
  
I'm not stupid. I know anorexia is a serious condition and can lead to fatal illness... it just didn't seem... like that would happen to me you know? I know all the lines, teenagers! Never think it will happen to them! I know all of them ok so leave me alone... I just wanted him to like me so badly I was willing to do anything.  
  
You know after all we went through in the war I think maybe it will be nice to just lay down and accept my fate. I heard if you die in your sleep you don't feel any pain after all. I'm really glad Trowa is here for my end. It makes it a little easier... and it's nice to get this much attention from him. Now all that's left is to close my eyes and face the reaper... that faceless person in my dreams. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
After Trowa arrived I was kind of relieved. Quatre looked scared before he got here. But now he seemed calm, and the doctor would be here soon and I thought it was all gonna be all right. That was, until I got a good look in Quatre's eyes. One look there made my heart jump with sudden realization. He was giving up! Giving up, after all we had been through! He had survived the war survived the oppression and discrimination soldiers faced afterwards and now he was giving up!  
  
I turned to Trowa. "Hey tro? Why don't you go ask the servants what's taking the doctor?" He readily agreed, not knowing what to do with Quatre and left the room. I walked to Quatre's bed. "So that's it huh?" I asked with an appalled tone. "After making it through everything with us this is finally it? The straw breaking the camels back?" Quatre looked at me with a disheartened expression. "I'm sorry Duo I can't do this anymore."  
  
I sighed. There was nothing else I could do. If he wanted to give up no one could talk him out of it. I could certainly understand his point of view. I had also been contemplating just packing it in for some time now. I still might. I looked at him in dismay. "I know Quatre... it's been hard for me too... but... but still... I'll miss you if you die." Quatre looked down a kind of crestfallen look finding it's way across his features usually so optimistic and effervescent. This was the last place I had expected to find that view of ennui.  
  
"Oh Quatre... what the hell happened?" I asked almost fearing his response. I remembered a similar thing to this happening to my street leader Solo once and the thing that knocked him over the edge well... isn't something I would wish upon anyone much less my little brother.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
It was dark. We told the time by the shade of the sky here in L2 and by the purple shade hovering over my head I estimated it had to be close to eight o clock. Solo left around four... he should have been home by now. As I gazed around at my companions I wanted to be sick. It appeared I was the only one who took unease in the fact that our forerunner had not returned.  
  
I left them all with their provident poker games and their careless demeanor and I went to find my compeer. I searched for what felt like hours, wandering among the forgotten, and the dying souls that wandered the desolate streets of my home. I saw a baby child withering in the gutter. But no one spared it a second glance, no one stopped to help, no one even cared. But that wasn't surprising. No one on L2 gave a damn for anyone but himself or herself.  
  
I finally found him naked and trembling in a back alley. It was painfully obvious what had happened. He had been raped and left to die. I couldn't tell you how it made me feel... because in all honesty I didn't really know. I didn't really think at all just acted. I took my shirt and gave it to him to start with because I had seen a boy freeze to death before and it wasn't an experience I cared much for repeating. I told him it was ok and I hugged him. I knew exactly what he needed because I remember him doing the same thing for me when I was raped. That's not an experience I care much for repeating either. It was down right frightening to be sitting and comforting the person I seen as a kind of big brother figure. Maybe if I had gotten there earlier then the cold wouldn't have sparked the symptoms of the plague and I could have saved my best friend. But the past is the past is the past and you can't change it so there's no real point bitching about it. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
It was at that moment that Quatre shifted and I looked at him troubled. Quatre opened his mouth to say something but stopped I squeezed his shoulder to wordlessly encourage him and he swallowed. "He... he hates me Duo... He hates me!" 


	4. Chapter 3

Welcome back! I'm glad your still interested in my story. As a recap right now Quatre is very, very sick. He is having dreams where he dies. He is now very guilt stricken and believes Trowa hates him. Thanks to Mitchell Chan for the title and thanks to Weiss angel for being a loyal reviewer. Thanks also to my good friend Chibi Chan-chan. Without her this would not have been possible. . -Hands them both a chocolate chip cookie- And now, without further a due, on with the show!  
  
Insidious Dreams chapter Three  
  
I can't begin to describe how shocked I was to hear Quatre say Trowa hated him. He doesn't really. It's quite the opposite. Trowa cares for Quatre. Deeply cares. As in, I love you I never want to be with out you cares. I couldn't find words to say that though. I never was all that great with words you know.  
  
"Quatre... what would make you think he hates you?" Quatre looked down with the same look in his eyes I had worn for years after the war was over. He honestly and truly believed Trowa hated him. Like me and Heero except that Heero really does hate me.  
  
He has hated me since day one. He has called me stupid, ignored me when I talked to him, everything in the book and more! I could write a book on the signs that someone hates you, because Heero has displayed all of them. He does it all and I'm sure he must know how deeply it hurts me when he turns away from a conversation we were having in favor of that damned laptop. He spends more time with that thing then he does with Relena I would not be surprised to someday find out he found a state where it is legal to marry the thing.  
  
I looked at Quatre's eyes and hugged him to burry the look in my chest. I could not stand to see that look on Quatre's face. Literally it tore me apart. He was the strongest best most innocent guy I knew. He shouldn't have worries that would put that look on his face. Since the war began I knew he didn't belong in it. Absolutely fucking knew it. He was too innocent, too pure, too.... Him.  
  
"Why then... why didn't he call? Why did he wait till something was wrong to visit? Why did he leave me and up and move to the colonies? Why does he treat me so cold? Why?" Quatre's pleading gaze begged for answers but I didn't have any to give him. The only one who could tell him those things was Trowa. I would kind of like to know those things too. I have been wondering for some time now. But right now he needed answers and I swear to god. If Trowa hurts him I will kill the man. This is my little brother. He doesn't deserve to hurt. "I... I dunno Q... but I'll find out." With that I up and left the room.  
  
I cornered Trowa in the hallway. "All right Tro. What the hell is up between you and Quatre?" Trowa looked shocked at my bluntness and his one visible eye opened wide. He had a secret. But there was no time to look into that now. I glared at him. Now I gotta tell you, my glare on full shinigami mode? Well you have all seen Heero's patented death glare? Mine is twenty times more frightening. So I was not surprised when Trowa wanted to do exactly what I said. "Now I want you to go in that room and explain to my little brother why you have been neglecting him you fucking bastard. And after that you and I will have a nice fireside chat so you can explain the same to me. Understand?"  
  
Trowa ever playing the cool calm silent clown walked swiftly to Quatre's room and I watched the door and listened. I listened for hours and then fell asleep. I wish I hadn't. I really, really do. Cause when I awoke I would find a whole new problem confronting me besides Quatre's illness. I would inherit the task of murdering the clown.  
  
I awoke and thought everything was fine. The house was Quiet and Quatre's door was shut still. I figured they must still be talking so I checked my watch and went down to the kitchen to get them some breakfast. It was nine o clock. I had slept through the night. On an impulse I grabbed a soda for myself to wake me up making Trowa and Quatre each a coffee to wake them up too. It would go well with my patent pending chocolate and banana pancakes. I finished their food and carried it up the stairs easing the door open. When I seen what was in there. I dropped the breakfast.  
  
Q was there, yes. Trowa however was not. Q lay sprawled on the bed. The blood soaked sheets were balled at his feet. He lay on his stomach completely naked and still bleeding profusely. His eyes were even more, empty and sorrowful now then they were before. Tears had streaked his face leaving sadness in their wake. His arms hung limp by his side like he was a fucking broken doll. His features held none of their usual enthusiasm and joy. His pale skin was soaked in his own blood. He was bleeding in several places. His mouth was sewn shut so he could not utter a word.  
  
My gaze dropped to the floor where there lay a knife with a green handle. The instrument used to cut Q all over the place. His back, his neck, his chest, his face, there was blood fucking everywhere. The fucking bastard had raped him. Quatre looked at me with those empty eyes. He gaped at me and mumbled between lips that could not move, "I'm sorry..." 


	5. Chapter 4

Thank you reviewers and once again special thanks to my most loyal reviewer Weissangel24 for constantly reviewing my stories and giving me valuable input. I value all reviews I get and hope to get some suggestions through reviews. Please do not hesitate to tell me if I have done something you do not like or think I could do better. I will continue my other work soon. I am continuing the stories, which received the most reviews first.  
  
Insidious Dreams chapter Four  
  
That son of a fucking bitch. He committed the ultimate sin. With my little bro as the god damned victim! How could he do that, how? He was supposed to love him! He swore he loved him! How could he do something like this! He knows how sensitive Quatre is he might never recover! With his ability to sense others emotions it'll make it even worse! Gods my poor baby bro!  
  
He was lying there sprawled on that bed trembling and his eyes asking again and again, why, and I had no answer for him. I couldn't tell him what could possibly have been going through that madman's head. I have no idea what possesses those malicious people to do their heinous crimes. I did know one thing though, as I wrapped him in a blanket and dialed nine one one. That bastard wasn't going to get away with this. I was going to rip out his guts and make him eat them. When I got my hands on him he was fucking toast.  
  
Taking the green handled knife I carefully cut the thread, which bound his lips together and he leaned forwards into my arms and cried. Again and again he apologized until finally the ambulance arrived. The paramedics had to put him in restraints so he would stop fighting them and I was almost worked to tears as I saw them wheel him away. The poor guy had been through so much recently, and he thought it was all his fault. He didn't deserve any of the shit that had happened during the war.  
  
After the paramedics left I picked up the phone. I had to call Wufei. And Heero. They should be here. Quatre is going to need them. Because I cannot be there. I have a clown to hunt. I left.  
  
I entered the room to a still heavily injured Quatre. Through all the war he had never endured an injury this intense. I walked to the side of an ice cold and deathly pale Arabian prince and I took one of his limp hands in mine. He was still unconscious. Tears filled my eyes again as I remembered how he had looked when I found him. Why, why did I leave him alone with that monster? How could I? Well I would make up for it. I would make that thrice-damned clown sorry he had ever been born. Trowa had damn well better be watching his back because the shinigami was on the prowl looking for him.  
  
Putting my cheek to my baby brother's icy palm I made him a solemn promise. "I'll get him little brother I'll make him pay. It's not your fault and I'm gonna make sure that dishonorable clown knows it. I always knew there was something dark about him the only difference is now I know what. He'll be sorry Quatre I promise you that."  
  
Waiting in the dark for someone to arrive, just to be sure Quatre wouldn't wake up alone I allowed the tears to stream down my face and collect in a puddle of my deep and personal sorrows on the floor. It seemed my very soul leaked out of my body to collect in those tears as I wept that night. Too many times had I known the kind of sorrow this would inflict upon sweet Quatre. Too many times had I curled up and silently wept my frustration. Too many times. I heard the door creak open and I released Quatre and crept towards the window as I watched a Chinese warrior enter the room. Wufei could look after the winner heir. I had a clown to catch, but when I got ahold of him... there would be fucking nothing to laugh about.  
  
Upon entering the room I discovered an unconscious Winner lying on a hospital bed wrapped in bandages. It was a sight I had never expected to see. It was almost frightening. Maxwell was there as well.. He sat in a chair by the window, the light of the moon outside illuminating his face, giving the tears tracking down his cheeks a silvery shine. The most predominant feature I noticed about him though was his eyes. Usually light amethyst and full of laughter they were now dark, violent, and filled with malice..  
  
Had I not trusted him enough to keep himself in check I would have been afraid that he would kill me then and there. But I understood his anger. He and Winner had grown to be close companions during the wars. The bond they shared was deeper than that of friendship, it was a bond only brothers could share, despite that they were not related to each other. He would undoubtedly be going after whoever had hurt Winner. My only question was, who was the unfortunate soul that had incurred Shinigami's wrath? For surely, Maxwell would have no mercy upon him.  
  
It rather surprised me when Maxwell slipped out the window but I suppose it shouldn't have. He would take the fastest route possible to get revenge on his target. It then struck me, where was Barton? Shouldn't he be here? The last I had heard they were a couple... weren't they? Something didn't seem right about all this.  
  
Taking the Arabian princes hand in mine I fought the tears that threatened to spill. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve this at all. He was a good, decent person. It wasn't his fault he had gotten caught up in the eve wars. He went to war in order to protect those he loved. This was a reason perhaps even more honorable than mine.  
  
I replaced his hand on the sheets almost instantaneously. I could not bear the heat that radiated from that petite appendage. His fever was getting worse and now it was bothering parts that usually remain cool even during a fever. I almost did not dare to touch his forehead. Biting down on my fear I exited the room to find a doctor. I would save the desert angel, my little one, if it was the last thing I did. 


	6. Chapter 5

PanthersTear: Hey, hey I'm back!!! Sorry updates for this story took so long but I lost chapter three and most of chapter four in the transfer of files from my school computer to my home computer for quite some time. I found them though and I have had a shot of inspiration so let me know what you think Ok? Please R&R Shinigami's Forlorn Angel: What have I told you about sucking up to the readers? PT: Um... do it? SFA: Ugh... you see the baka author I have to put up with? Toss her a review and shut her up!!! PT: p.s I do not own gundam wing only this moth-eaten plot and my treasured copy of episode zero SFA: THEY DON'T CARE!!!!! And now without further adieu on with the story  
  
Insidious Dreams Chapter5  
  
I looked up pure terror staking its way through my heart as I saw him again. That faceless murderer. The person who was slowly but surely taking my own life out of my grasp. Seeing that blank image filled my heart and soul with pure fear and the sudden desire to live. My eyes widened. Sweat began to track itself slowly down the side of my face. It landed at the corner of my mouth and tasted salty like tears. But there was tears. Tears of fear.  
  
My body was suddenly wracked with uncontrollable tremors as he advanced forwards exactly one pace. The sound of his foot hitting the ground seemed to echo throughout the hollow chambers of my mind. Every instinct I owned was creaming at me to run for my fool life but my feet would not move. They were glued in place.  
  
I had heard that in times of intense fear the human body would refuse to move but this was a dream. Just a dream... wasn't it? Suddenly as my mind screamed at me to run I wasn't so sure anymore. I mean what if the other reality was dream and this was the only thing that was real. I was trapped in my own personal hell with a faceless person who wanted to kill me. But this time the killer had brought a new toy to the game.  
  
As every conscious thought yelled at me to move I saw it dangle down. A whip. My attacker was carrying a whip. I didn't want to know what he was going to do with it. My feet finally found themselves again and I pumped my legs harder and faster then ever before. Clenching my eyes shut against the offending sweat and tears I took off like a shot for all I was worth.  
  
In the end though it was to no avail. My physical strength failed me, it usually does. I collapsed to the ground weeping out my frustrations and listening to the constant echo of my silent killer stalking towards me through the blinding shadows. I could think of nothing more than the fact that I would never have to worry about the fact that Trowa hated me again.  
  
Finding my limp body I suddenly felt my assailant let loose a barrage of kicks to my ribs from his steel toed boots. I winced in pain as a wave of blinding agony screamed its way through my chest. The constant pounding of his foot against my ribcage grew to be my only way of knowing I was still alive. I was still suffering. My big brother Duo once told me when you've got nothing left pain and rage will keep you going. So I put that theory into practice.  
  
As if the constant pain of the hammering feet wasn't enough I suddenly felt a sharp stinging sensation etch it's way across my back. Another deeper more painful cut made me cry out in release. The seemingly endless quick slashes across my back went on for hours until the blood smeared across it prevented any sight of skin. Tears grew at the corners of my eyes and still the relentless attack continued. I gasped for breaths that would not come and still was showed no mercy. My aggressor stood towering many feet above me wielding his whip and with one final crack brought the weapon down to mark my face.  
  
I felt a trickle of warm thick liquid begin to stretch itself the length of my face. It met with my lips and tasted of a coppery tang. It stuck to my teeth in a way similar to that of a jelly like candy I once had. It had a clotted and syrupy texture to it. Suddenly I felt two strong hands on my shoulders shaking me. As I drifted into consciousness I heard the slightly panicked voice of Wufei somewhere close. "Get the damned doctor onna he is bleeding!!" 


	7. Chapter 6

Hey welcome back. I would like to send out special thanks to Sam for starting this chapter for me. I had real problems getting Wufei's personality down. So thanks a bunch. Hands Sam a cookie  
  
Sam: Yay!!! Coooooooookie!! . Munches happily  
  
Anyways to go on with the usual spiel this chapter will be mainly Duo's point of view with quick switches to Wufei's in order to keep you posted on the condition of everyone's favorite blondie. There may also be a brief flash of Heero POV. Apologies on being late with this but I am currently suffering from writers block. Gotta hate that huh? Enjoy! Insidious Dreams: Chapter 6  
  
I had been watching the battered desert angel that was Quatre Winner when he had fallen into a nightmare. Worry writhing like a snake in the pit of my stomach I gently reached over and stroked his face, brushing back his sweat soaked bangs, and whispered soft reassurances and he twisted and turned under the white hospital blankets. When I withdrew my hand it was covered in a slightly viscous red liquid that I knew could only be blood.  
  
My worry growing into panic, I tried to discover the source of the bleeding, to no avail as the petite form turned his head preventing me from seeing the side of his face that was bleeding. At that moment a nurse entered the room. Quickly I turned to her and shouted. "Get the damned doctor onna, he is bleeding!!"  
  
With a quick nod she turned and left to fetch a doctor as my attention went back to the beaten Arabian prince.  
  
Slowly stalking down the street I searched for my prey. He could not have gotten too far and I knew him well. It was only a matter of time before I found him. Unfortunately for me it was already growing late and I was becoming weary. Also.. I was becoming more and more concerned about the well being of my little brother.  
  
Resigning my search for the night I stopped at a nearby motel and checked in. The room was less than pleasant, but I had dealt with worse. Lying back on the bed I pondered where my quarry would hide after hurting the little angel. Surely he would anticipate my coming after him so he would most likely try to get as much distance between us as possible, which meant he would most-likely head out into the colonies.  
  
Regrettably, there were too many colonies for me to search them all before he ultimately escaped me so I had to figure out how to narrow down my options drastically before I continued my search. That thought in mind I closed my eyes and drifted into a dreamless sleep.  
  
When I awakened I had the weirdest sense that Quatre had not slept well. Picking up my cell I called his just to make sure everything was still alright. To my surprise it was Wufei who answered the ring. "Yes Maxwell?" He asked.  
  
"Hey... what's up with this? Where's Quatre?" I questioned in return my voice taking on a slight edge of panic that I didn't bother to hide. "Winner is under observation by the doctors. He awoke from a nightmare with a deep gash on his cheek and no one has any reasonable explanation for how it got there." My face went pale. I had heard about things like this. Where a vivid dream would somehow transfer over into reality. This wasn't good. Not good at all.  
  
It broke my heart to see the blonde awaken in fear. Surrounded by doctors he looked absolutely terrified but this was necessary... wasn't it? We had to know why the Winner boy was bleeding from that deep gash. If I didn't know better I would swear that gash looked as if it was made by a whip. But that was completely impossible. Madness even. Or was it..?  
  
I looked at Yuy and he seemed to have absolutely no worries is regards to our companions well being. It sickened me. He could at least show a little compassion for the wealthy young ex-gundam pilot. But his gaze was fixed completely on the window and did not look like it would be moving any time soon. Sighing I turned my attention to the brilliant strategist that was trembling terribly on the white sheets.  
  
All the doctors looked extremely frustrated. After all, they are scientists of sorts and scientists like to understand things. It annoys them to no ends when they aren't able to make complete sense of something. I knew in my heart there were only two people that could calm winner down now. One being Maxwell because of the brotherly bond the two share. The other being his one true love. For quite some time I had fantasized about that being myself. However it has become increasingly clear that there is only one that my angel loves. Trowa Barton.  
  
It was as I was thinking about this that Winners cell phone began to emit a soothing song similar to one I had once overheard playing from a small locket in a children's television show titled Sailor Moon. Peering at the caller identification, caller i.d. for short I saw Maxwell's name come up. Relief flooded my system as I answered it. "Yes Maxwell?"  
  
"Hey... what's up with this where's Quatre?" He asked his voice taking on a slight edge of panic. "Winner is under observation by the doctors. He awoke from a nightmare with a deep gash on his cheek and no one has any reasonable explanation for how it got there." I replied trying to make my voice sound apathetic. I don't think it worked. "Hang on I'm coming down there!" He exclaimed before the line went dead.  
  
"Hang on I'm coming down there!" I nearly shouted into the phone as I hurriedly grabbed what meager belongings I had with me. Unfortunately... This meant giving up my hunt for an indefinite amount of time.. Growling in frustration I dropped off the keys to my motel room at the front desk then sped down the highway, going way over the speed limit, on my motorcycle towards where my little brother was staying with Wufei.  
  
Barton! I will avenge my little brother. Do not think this little delay will prevent me from finding you.I thought bitterly as I continued to race down the highway. Suddenly red and blue flashing lights and a siren alerted me that I had caught someone's unwanted attention. Being the thrill seeker I was I lifted up the front wheel of my motorcycle and brought it back down to the ground speeding up leaving the highway patrol in my dust. My little brother needed me and I was going to be there for him. Speed limits be damned.  
  
I wasn't very surprised when I entered the room to find Heero sitting by the window brooding like he always does. However.. That isn't to say that that sight pleased me either. In fact.. It pissed me off to think that he would sit there and silently bemoan his own personal problems when Quatre so obviously needed help.  
  
Scowling, I stalked over to him. There was no way he was just going to sit there and get away with it.  
  
My attention shot to Maxwell when he entered the room. The look of despair on his face told me he had not yet tracked down dearest Barton. Though given time I was sure he would. The shinigami always got his victims. His face soon turned from despair to anger as his gaze fell upon Yuy. It was understandable. I was considerably upset with the tussled haired man myself at the moment.  
  
Here was Winner barely clinging to life and terrified from a recent nightmare and all he could do was to sit and rue things he could do nothing about. But he's always been that way. Never really cared about anything unless it could affect the mission. If you could say he is one positive thing it would have to be goal oriented. Unfortunately he cares for little that does not benefit or jeopardize whatever mission he considers himself to be on. I believe Maxwell sees something in him that no one else does. That does not mean Maxwell is not going to rip him a new ass hole for ignoring Winner in his time of need.  
  
I allowed my gaze to drift slowly back over to the trembling and apprehensive Winner heir. His eyes searched the room frantically for some kind of calm emotion. Being an empath he is able to sense others emotions and I was sure he was picking up on the uneasy atmosphere surrounding him. My hand drifted lightly over his in a gesture of friendship and the look in his eyes when they found mine was one of trust and astonishment.  
  
I watched Duo approach me. Out of the corner of my eye I could almost see the rage emanating from his body. I sighed and turned to face him. "Yes?" I asked coolly. This seemed to annoy him further as he glared deeply at me. "And what do you think your doing?" He asked me, anger and loathing dripping off his every word. What I was doing was trying to figure out how a deep gash that had obviously been made with a whip could suddenly appear on a sleeping figure. But I couldn't tell him that. "Watching that bird make it's nest." I replied. 


	8. Chapter 7

Hiya readers!! It is about time I updated huh? Well sorry for the delay I am currently between computers and so I lost my chapter six for a while and didn't know where to pick up from. But it's all good now. Oh and for legal purposes I must state that I don't own gundam wing. whispering though everyone knows I really do.

Sam: Do not!!

PT: Do too.

Sam: Nyyuuuu... I do...

PT: rolls eyes Sure.... On with the usual stuff.. my thanks to my beta Sam for helping and inspiring me... but no cookies this time!!

Sam: BUT BUT BUT!!! ::cries::

In this chapter I would like to send out special thanks to Duo-23 for becoming a very loyal reviewer. This one's for you Duo!! So I hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Insidious Dreams Chapter Seven  
  
Watching a bird. He was watching a bird. A fucking bird! Was I mad? Oh hell yea I was flaming pissed. Pulling out my pistol I didn't even think before I shot the bird through the heart. I instantly regretted it. The doctors all began to stare. Heero looked away ashamed and worst of all Quatre flinched away. I had frightened my little brother. At a time when he needed me most instead of helping him I shot a damned blue bird through the heart.  
  
But Quatre didn't just flinch. If only it were that damn simple. He ran. He picked up the big machine he was attached to and he ran like Satan himself was at his heels. I followed as quickly as I could, naturally, but when he rounded the corner he seemed to disappear into thin air. He's always been able to do that. Disappear quickly and not be found until he feels like being found. He must have had some reason somewhere in his past to do a lot of hiding.  
  
I was terrified for him. He was hurt so badly... anything could happen to him. He was already just barely clinging to life if he stayed in hiding too long... he could be very badly hurt even killed! Why didn't I think before acting? Why did I shoot that damned bird?  
  
Why am I asking that? I know why I did it. I was mad. I was upset. I needed an outlet and I chose the bird Heero was watching. I knew he should have been watching Quatre so I eliminated what was currently holding his attention. It was stupid, idiotic, and immature... but it worked. Heero was paying attention to Quatre now, or at least to the fact that he was absent from the room. Probably only because he knew how much danger Quatre was in though. He never pays attention to anyone just for the hell of it. Least of all me. But why should he? I have done nothing to deserve the attention of such a perfect creature I am nothing but a lowly street rat. The scum of L2.  
  
But now was not the time to be brooding over my heritage and upbringing. Quatre was hiding somewhere in this hospital and we had to find him before he got hurt. So much could happen to him... I was worried out of my skull. Tears began to fill the corners of my eyes as we continued to look for three hours and could not find him anywhere. Finally I checked the crawl space under the stairs and sure enough he was curled in there shaking like a leaf.  
  
His face was so pale... I spent a few minutes just staring at his pale face wondering how I could have him so terrified. I almost started crying all over again but I could also see how my emotional pain was tearing him up inside. "Hey..." I whispered crawling in beside him. "Mind if I sit in here too?" As soon as I entered the crawl space I wished I hadn't. Quatre did something he had never done before. He moved away as if frightened... of me!!   
  
I heard a shot. I heard a shot and my head started spinning so fast I almost thought I was the one who was hit but then I realized I was not in the excruciating pain that would come with that. My gaze fell to the victim of Duo's pistol. A small innocent bird. I could not take the contradicting emotions in the room anymore. I reached over and grabbed the machine which was attached to me.  
  
The box was heavy. I couldn't even remember what was in it because I was hyped up on some weird drug the doctors had me on but it was heavy. I groaned as I lifted it from it's stand. I had to get out of there. It felt like I was carrying a lead weight that was going to drag me down into the very earth. As soon as I lifted the box I thought the world had turned upside down and I was floating. It made me feel very light and confused and I couldn't even remember why I was scared and wanted to run anymore but I knew I had to get out.  
  
I ran down the halls. Everything I passed was nothing but a blur. I knew I was being pursued and that only made me want to run faster and faster until I tripped over something and fell forwards. I think I broke my nose because my eyes automatically filled with a substance made of primarily salt and water called tears. Everything was spinning. Nothing made sense. I was scared, lost, confused... and then I saw it. An opening. Where did it lead? I didn't know. But I ducked in anyway. It was small so I huddled in on myself and waited.  
  
What was I waiting for? I didn't even know anymore. But I was pretty sure it wasn't the person that came crawling in through the opening after what felt like days. Duo. My best, dearest, oldest friend Duo. I loved him dearly but he just wasn't who I wanted to see right now. I moved away from him. He shot innocent birdies. He emitted extreme anger. I wanted someone else. Not him.  
  
My movements seemed to shock him and he exited my space. Good. I didn't want him in my space. After he was gone I didn't see anyone else for a long time. I was lonely. I was ready to settle for almost anyones company. Even people who killed innocent little birdies. When he came next he knelt down and coaxed me out in a way similar to that of how you would coax a rabid animal into tameness. I crawled into his arms and I wept. It wasn't where I wanted to be... but it felt safe anyway. I let him take me back to the hospital room. That felt safe too.  
  
But I didn't feel truly safe till I saw him. My love. My protector. My home. I was home. The door creaked open letting a slight breeze into the room and fluttering the papers on the desk. My eyes shifted from the bed sheets they had been securely focused on. I looked in the doorway and there stood Trowa. The man who couldn't seem to keep from hurting me. The man who had raped me when I told him I would not have sex with him. The man that was standing in the door to my hospital room with eyes that begged for forgiveness. The man I loved. I gazed deep into the crystal green depths that seemed to bore a hole in my soul and I smiled. I was home.


	9. Chapter 8

Welcome back... this would be chapter 8 and I have a new idea to propose to all who are willing to listen. I still have much to cover in this fan fiction besides the fate of dearest blondie so what would you think of my turning this into an arc? If you think its a good idea give me a shout at ok? On with the usual speil... my thanks to miss Sam my dearest beta and muse but unfortuanately the cookie jar is empty so... here. hands her an ice cream cone guess I better also state that I do not own gundam wing or it's characters... yet. So to all out there who are still listening please enjoy this chapter and don't forget to give me a shout on that email address wth your opinions to my idea!!

Insidious Dreams Chapter 8

Quatre spent a fair while weeping in my arms before I decided to take him back to the hospital room that he was supposed to be residing in. When I thought things couldn't get any worse –he- entered the room. The one person I loathed most in the entire world at the moment was standing in the Doorway watching us. As soon as I saw him I narrowed my eyes into a dark glare and my entire body tensed. It took all my efforts to not let go of Quatre and strangle the clown then and there.

Slowly I took a deep breath and forced my body to relax and watch Quatre back in his bed without so much as a word to the lowlife scum watching us. I would have to wait before making him pay for what he did to my little brother. Luckily, Wufei chose that moment to return as well.

And despite that I was anything but glad to see the damn rapist I was glad he was there. His presence put that look of peace back on Quatre's face. It had been some time since I had seen Quatre honestly and truly happy. It was as if Quatre had completely forgotten what Trowa had done and had gotten lost in the sheer bliss of having him here. Perhaps that is what happened but it didn't change the fact that I realized that Quatre still loved Trowa. Which meant one very infuriating thing. I couldn't kill him. It would make Quatre sad.

Damn... so I wouldn't kill the damn man... that didn't mean I couldn't make him beg for death. Nevermind making him beg for death, I was going to make him wish he had never been born. For the way he had hurt my little brother he deserved anything I could toss in his general direction. Was I pissed he had the nerve to show up here? You bet. But I couldn't do anything about it. Quatre wanted him here end of story. So I would play the waiting game.

I looked over at Wufei and he seemed equally angry to see the damn clown in the room. His eyes, which were usually calm and collected, now burned with barely contained rage. This confused me for a moment as he had never shown any particular animous feelings towards Trowa until just recently. I couldn't understand it. Then it hit me. That look that Wufei had shown in the hospital room before. The way he had looked so frantically for the lost blonde when he had made a break for it. It was all clear to me now. And I wasn't sure whether it was a good or bad thing.

I entered the room hoping that Maxwell had found Quatre and brought him back to the room and discovered a scene that had the potential to become violent laying before me. Maxwell had indeed found and returned the petit angel.. But his focus lay upon another individual in the room. Barton.

I did not know why the clown was there nor did I care. The fact remained that he was there and he had hurt the desert star that had won my heart once already. Maxwell would not let it happen again. Nor would I.

Maxwell stood glaring at Barton, his entire body stiff as his eyes smouldered with rage. Forcibly he took a deep breath and allowed his body to relax as he turned to our blonde companion. He must have realized that Quatre had forgiven Barton and still cared deeply for him. It angered me to know that someone so obviously unworthy would have the love of that sweet Arabian prince. But I kept my temper in check because I did not wish to upset the gentle spirit that I had come to cherish.

"Hello Winner." I stated as I crossed the room. His eyes when he looked to me were filled with joy and friendship, but also with pain and anguish. He had not forgotten the way Barton had hurt him. It finally dawned on me there as I stood in the shadow of the ever-forgiving arabian prince. He felt he deserved it.

I was shocked. I was astounded. I was appalled, astonished, confounded, dismayed, dumbfounded, startled, stunned, and just plain surprised in general. There was no way in hell that the victim could be blamed for such a vile act as rape so how could he have deserved it? It was beyond me, absolutely beyond me.

I was unaware at that time, that the reappearance of Barton was the least of our troubles. We had yet to curb the sweet Quatre's radical nightmares. It was not until later that night I realized the errors of my ways.

It started out as nothing serious. Just some simple grunting and signs of discomfort. Winner often shows these signs of restlessness while attempting sleep so I was not overly concerned with their recurrance. A small trickle of sweat sliped down his cheek and the tiniest utterance of a painful wimper escaped him. Still this was nothing out of the ordinary so I chose to allow him to continue sleeping. He fell quiet after that and so assuming it had been but a mildly disturbing dream sequence I went to fetch Maxwell. My shift for watching over the angel was over and I was going to go home and get some rest myself. I wish I had paid more attention to the disturbed sleeper. Justice has a way of coming back to extract it's revenge. And it was about to sneak up on me. Big time.


	10. Chapter 9

Ok... here we go... I'm dedicating this chapter to Cross D' Aubigne for her extremely amusing review. This one's for you and I started it the same night I got that review. Please don't murder your nails!!! I'll finish and post quick I promise!! I would like to recommend anyone reading this try to find the time to listen to the song The Reason by Hoobastank because it has been highly inspirational in this fic. As of yet I have heard no comments on my proposed idea so that one is still up in the air. I WANT OPINIONS PEOPLE!!!! Thank you to Sam my dedicated beta and thanks also to the many talented music artists of the world for inspiring me to write. Now that I'm done with that... on with the story.

Insidious Dreams Chapter 9

Now let me explain something. I know it's stupid to come crawling back so quickly to someone whom had committed the ultimate sin. But I just couldn't stand my loneliness. My big brother is great and my friends are terrific but at the end of the day it's still his arms which offer the most comfort. I was prepared to accept him back in order to curb my aching heart. But I still wasn't quite ready to forgive him. If he loved me at all I knew he'd understand that.

Besides... it wasn't all Trowa's fault to begin with. I deserved it. I have caused countless people unbearable pain and suffering. Why, simply by being born I robbed my father of the one person he loved most. I deserved to be punished. It just so happened that someone finally realized that. I almost killed Trowa once he had every right to want to get even. Of course I realized that Duo and Wufei would never see it like that.

His presence however upset the other occupant of the hospital room almost as much as it upset me. And from what I could sense from him he was not ready to sit back and allow him back. But looking up into his pure and violet eyes I knew he wouldn't do anything. I was his little brother and he wouldn't risk upsetting me. I smiled a little more and watched Wufei enter the room. His eyes upon entry radiated great hostility towards my one true love Trowa but after noticing my expression he backed down again. He gave me a friendly enough greeting. I was glad. He understood at least some of what was going through my head. With a bright smile upon my face I allowed my eyes to drift gently closed and I surrendered to peaceful slumber...

My eyes opened but I was no longer in the hospital. The distinct aroma of something being smoked reached my sensitive nostrils and I coughed. By the smell I thought it must be marijuana. I then recognized this place, it was where my dad dragged me when he was coming to have a smoke. This was different from the dreams I had been having as of recently but I wasn't about to argue. Walking slowly down the long corridor I grunted as the stench got more potent. As I continued to walk the place got hotter then I had ever remembered it being. I felt a small trickle of sweat drip slowly down the side of my face and heard it sizzle when it hit the ground. This definitely wasn't the place I remembered.

When I took my next step a small whimper of pain crossed my lips and I drew back my foot to see burns along the bottom of it. I looked up slowly and saw the dark flickering flames in the distance. The smoke that stretched the length of the place was thick, I could hardly breathe. Anticipation of something big was clutching my heart tight and I clenched my eyes shut. Adrenaline flooded my system and I heard a great echoing footstep. As the smoke thickened around me blocking my air tunnel I heard another.

Unable to get air inside my body I fell to my knees and begged for air, everything in my body screaming for just one breath. I opened my eyes to find the images blocked by tears forming in glassy sheets over my blue orbs. My hands shot to my neck as the footstep echoed one last time. Looking up I saw the image of the faceless man looming over me but the smoke was beginning to clear around his face.

Giving one final cough I blinked the tears out of my eyes and saw a face I know well. His one visible eye glittered with hate and loathing. Loathing of the one person he should love more then anyone. His brown hair hung loosely over the other eye keeping it hidden from view. It was always a puzzlement of mine why he wore his hair that way. Perhaps something happened to his other eye and he simply did not wish to reveal it. In any case the set of his face proved that my theory was correct and he did not care for me. Though why would he? I've never given him any reason to. It was at that moment that my world went black.

I groaned when I heard Wufei knocking on my door. It couldn't be ten already could it? Something could be wrong. Better to check it out. I got up and stumbled to the door. A look through the peephole confirmed that it was in fact Wufei at my door. I opened the door slowly. "What do you want?" I groaned at him.

"It's your turn. You weren't at the hospital. I came to get you." Grumbling I slipped on my shoes. It figured.

I entered Quatre's room at the hospital and felt immediately guilty for hesitating to come. Quatre was lying on the bed clutching his throat struggling for a breath. Tears had begun to leak out of his tightly clenched eyes. He was having a nightmare and it looked like a doozie. I ran from the room to get help. I crashed into Trowa. Forgetting for a moment that I was angry at him in the heat of the moment with fear clutching my heart for the blonde I grabbed his coat. "Trowa... Quatre isn't breathing!"

He took charge of the situation in an instant. He went into Quatre's room and wrapped him in a hug uttering soft words of comfort. A few moments later the Arabian prince awoke from his ill dreams with a start. Quivering like a leaf he looked up at Trowa and then to me. "I... I know who it is... the guy in my dreams... it's..." Trowa then wrapped him in a warm tight embrace. "Shh... your just upset..." nodding slowly Quatre cuddled into Trowa's arms, though he got no more sleep that night.


	11. Chapter 10

Ok first things first. Thank you to Sam my ever helpful beta for all the hard work you do. -hands you a warm peanut butter cookie- also thanks to Cross D' Aubigne and Duo-23 two of my many loyal reviewers. It is my sincere wish to now reveal to you my decision for what to do with this fan fiction. -drumroll- IT'S BECOMING AN ARC! If you do not think this is the best choice please say so in a review of this chapter thank you. And now… on with the story. Btw we begin under Duo's pov.

Insidious Dreams Chapter 10

It was him. I would bet my bottom dollar it was him. It was him and for that I hated him. Even in dearest Quatre's dreams Trowa could not stop torturing him. Was it stupid and immature to hold Quatre's nightmare against Trowa? Of course it was. Now for the million dollar question guess if I cared. That ass hole brought all this on. The anorexia, the hospitalization and now I find out he was bringing on the nightmares too. Did I want to rip him limb from limb and feed him to some ravenous wolves? Course I did. Would I hold back for Quatre's sake? Unfortunately, yes.

But it was what Quatre said next that threw me for a loop. "I know who's killing me in this nightmare Trowa. It's… my dad." His dad? His… DAD? How could that be? It had to be Trowa damn him! Maybe Quatre was just covering for him. But one look into the terror stricken face of my little brother told me otherwise. His father was in his dreams strangling the life out of him. Now the only thing I had to find out was… why was Quatre dreaming that?

I smiled a little. I guess a little part of me wanted to know that Quatre was not dreaming of Trowa killing him. Cause if he had been then god help me I would have killed the man. I don't care if Quatre loves him the man is scum. But the thing to worry about was how to find out what events could have led to these gruesome dreams? I only knew a few people that could answer me that one. Twenty nine of them in fact. It was time to go pay a visit to Quatre's sisters.

His first sister's name was Natalie. She was the nicest of them too. Her house was like something out of a freaking storybook. I'm totally one hundred percent fucking serious. She had the flowers down the walk and the welcome mat and the huge pink towers and everything! She was like a princess. She wasn't the prettiest woman I've ever seen but she was definitely the nicest girl I had ever met. Excluding sister Helen of course.

Her looks of course weren't bad. She had shoulder length brown hair that was her pride and joy. It wasn't the nicest hair but it was beautifully thick. She took good care of it. She was the one person who cared about Quatre more then anyone else on earth. If anyone could help me it would be her. I rang her doorbell slowly. She answered the consistent ring almost instantaneously. "Hello?"

"Hey.." I smiled. "Can I come in? It's kinda important." Looking concerned she stepped aside nodding. I walked slowly into her living room and my jaw fucking hit the floor at the poshness of it. You would think having Quatre as my little brother I would get used to the winners extravagant houses but this one totally frickin trumped his. "I need to know about… Quatre's relationship with your… father."

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

I was completely taken aback when Quatre told me that his father was the one responsible. I suppose I have to admit a small part of me was afraid that I was the killer of his nightmares. One simple glance in the general direction of duo told me he had been thinking the same thing. The scowl he was wearing proved he still didn't trust me though. I was beginning to suspect he never would. Holding Quatre tightly I whispered to him. I told him it would be all right. I told him his father was dead. I told him his father wasn't coming back. I told him he was safe. I lied.

My attention was drawn to Duo as he stood. I knew where he was going. He was going to find out what the meaning of this was. I yearned to go with him. I yearned to discover the reasoning behind these bone, chilling nightmares. But my angel needed me here to comfort him. So I watched him grab his coat and leave alone. I knew where he would go first. He was going to see Natalie. I wished I was too.

Looking back down at the desert prince I noticed his pale complexion. Once again he hadn't been taking care of himself like he should. It figured. He did this a lot… it really worried me. But of course there was no point in making an issue out of it right now he was frightened enough. I laid my lips on his forehead and slowly rocked him into peaceful slumber. God I wish I hadn't.

I guess it slipped my mind that when he slept he became endangered. Well it didn't slip his. He hadn't been sleeping twenty minutes when a trickle of sweat made it's may down his cheek. It touched my thumb jarring me awake. I had begun to sleep as well I guess. The small lines forming at the corners of his eyes signaled he was in some kind of distress. "Quatre... wake up..." I gently urged. Shaking him slightly I urged him to awaken once more. "Quatre please... wake up." It was beginning to worry me. I felt his forehead and he was burning up. A small whimper escaped his throat and then he stopped breathing completely.

He wasn't breathing... he was literally going to die in his dreams! "Quatre! Wake up!" I screamed, begging him to open his eyes. Not so much as a flinch. He was slowly dying and there was nothing i could do about it! Well there was one thing. Reaching across I grabbed the phone and dialed. "Hello? Wufei? It's Trowa... I need your help."


	12. Chapter 11

Before beginning this chapter I would like to say thanks to Duo-23 for the idea for this next chapter. Your the best! Also thanks as usual to my best beta Sam. My apologies for taking so long to write this chapter but I have been stuck on writers block. Come on guys! You know what that's like! It was tragic! Gundam boys going untortured! I feared a mutiny! In other news I am being made to say I do not own the gundam boys... I will someday... but not yet. You can sue me if you want to... but all I have to give you is my slobbering hyperactive dog, my fat cat, and my treasured copy of episode zero. Now that I'm done with my spiel... on with the show.

Insidious dreams chapter eleven

He needed my help. The cursed clown needed my fucking help? After what he had done to the desert angel he expected me to drop everything and run to his aid? I do not bloody well think so Barton you do not deserve my help, is what I should have said. "I'll be there shortly." Curse me and my willingness to help those in need! But I wasn't really doing this for him I reasoned. If he needed my help then dollars to doughnuts the problem had something to do with Winner. So it was for Quatre. Right? RIGHT!

I arrived at the Winner household not long afterwards. I was right. Winner was ill. Very ill. As in, he's not fucking breathing ill. Damn that Barton. "What in all hell did you DO to him!" I demanded. He looked taken aback at my accusation. I would have felt bad except that this was his fault and I knew it. "I... I didn't do anything, honest!" Yea right. He expected me to believe that! "Barton that is a blatant lie now tell me what you did!" We were so busy arguing that neither of us noticed when Quatre started breathing again. That is... not until he awoke. "Stop it!" He sobbed. "Can't you two just get along? I can't take this anymore!" He yelled flinging himself from the bed and out the door. I continued accusing Barton thinking he would not get far in his weakened state. I was wrong.

pov change

I awakened to arguing voices. My dream had not been out of the ordinary but the screaming and arguing voices were. I felt a huge spell of animosity wash over me and it stung. Listening closely it was Wufei and Trowa arguing. They were the last people I wanted to argue. I counted on them for strength. They were arguing about me. It was my fault. All my fault. God why did everyone have to fight all the time? "Stop it!" I managed to get out between sobs. "Can't you two just get along? I can't take this anymore!" I screamed and ran from the room

I have found I do a lot of running. Whenever something upsets me or bothers me in any way I up and run. Kind of a cowardly thing to do I guess but I never said I was brave. In fact I've always been a bit of a coward. After all it takes a pretty cowardly person to start cutting. Oh I'm sorry did I forget to mention that? Yea I started cutting. It's a horrible habit I know and I'm trying to quit but it's just so mentally addictive... and besides I ought to be punished for the way I hurt everyone. I hope no one ever finds out I cut. Then they would watch me night and day.

With that in mind I stole quietly into the night ignoring the pain in my side. I knew it was a lot less painful then the emotional anguish I would go through if I went back. Going back was not an option. Looking around I realized I was awfully far from home. It was getting cold. And I hadn't brought a coat. I shivered and tried to take stock of my surroundings. There was an old green rusted through mail box a little to my left which gave the place an eerie appeal. To my right there were several old broken down houses which looked haunted. The shudders in one broken window clattered to the street with the slight breeze barely missing me. The whole area smelled of cheap wine and cigarettes. I coughed loudly before feeling a sharp pain in my head. That thrice damned faceless man was back... and this time I was wide awake. Damn! I had hoped I was rid of him.

Quiet footsteps in the alley jolted me back to reality and into a fighting position. As a gundam pilot you learn to never be caught off guard. I felt a cold and bony hand on my shoulder and whirled around feeling a cold wind rush past me. "F- Father..? No... no... your dead." I stated. It couldn't be him. He was indeed dead. He had been for some time. He was on that colony that combusted. It was his death which drove me to use the zero system. He had to be dead... didn't he?

"Hello Quatre... it's been a while." His voice sent shivers up my spine and set off warnings somewhere in my head. He shouldn't be here. This shouldn't be happening. What was going on? "I am the one who has been seeking you. For a while now. Unfortunately my search made you ill." Now I knew why his presence was sending off warning bells... he was the one in my dreams who had been strangling me... but why? "Father... why... why would you harm me...?" A sick twisted sadistic smile etched itself across his cursed lips... the lips which, in my youth, had cursed my very existence. "Dearest son... I never meant to hurt you... surely you must believe me..." He stepped slowly forwards. He reeked of beer and marijuana. It brought back lots of memories... horrible memories... memories I had hoped to lose.

Warning bells rang loud and clear in the back of my head again and caused me to back up. He was not going to take advantage of me again. "Please go away father..." I pleaded. I was deadly afraid of him. Of what he could do. Of what he had done in the past. Oh god... but it was my fault wasn't it? God's I would paint it on the wall, that I was the one at fault if he would just go away. I would never fight again. This kind of pain was what resulted from war. "Now Quatre... behave for your father..." He uttered in a slurred voice. He came at me, smelling drunk and wasted. I tried to run but his hands soon found my waist and my head smashed painfully against the cold hard cement. There was a small pin prick in the back of my neck then everything went dark.

pov change

It wasn't until Maxwell showed up that Barton and I realized our mistake. Unfortunately that was not until the next morning. "Fei! Trowa! Get off your damned asses and turn on the fucking T.V!" I, personally did not see what it was that had Maxwell so upset but I did as he told me. I gasped. It was a news report of the untimely death of former gundam pilot zero four. I was wrong as hell about him not getting far. His body was found downtown. Apparently he had been drugged to death. Maxwell crawled into the arms of Yuy who walked through the door at just that moment. It would appear heaven was now missing an angel... and his name was Quatre Raberba Winner.

End of insidious dreams continued in Heaven Is Missing An Angel


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